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There was me on one side, sitting alone at my own party, ogling the pretty girl on TV. Then there was a small fissure beginning to grow wider and deeper in the carpet, where on the other side sat my friends, gathered around a pizza box (that had barely been touched) fighting over boys.
Religion and faith are neither inherently “good” nor “bad”. Religion and faith are powers to be used responsibly. As a pastor I am not opposed to religion. I am a student of Christianity and our neighbors of many faiths. As a pastor it is my duty, privilege, and calling to actively resist violence, especially violence done in the name of religion.
Shame was burgeoning throughout my body like a viral disease because I thought my version of ‘God is Love’ and gender nonconformity were inherently damaged. But while I tried to smite out the authenticity that produced my shame, I was in fact compounding my shame. In fact, the more intensely I embraced shame, the more convinced I was paying an appropriate penance unto God. Needless to say, I was fixing the wrong mechanism with the wrong remedy.
In the Fall of 2017, we asked for your opinions. We were in the middle of our transition as a community and you shared your thoughts and concerns. From that incredible feedback we were able to identify aspects you felt to be imperatives for the future of Q Christian Fellowship. Most importantly, we heard you asking for Q Christian to help empower the lives of LGBTQIA Christians.
it started with grief.
it started with the grief that comes from a recent loss
steeling yourself for the reminders that sneak up on you.
preparing for how different your life is going to be now,
the new normal of grief.
it is not enough.
it will never be enough
to take His body—
God, the corpse.
we have not stopped spinning
since the moment Your voice
called us into action
for You are life.
Your voice compelled us
to bring forth life
and we revel in that life
today--
I know, this day
will be remembered
for Your divine purpose
(that i cannot begin to understand)
i know, others question
their God
our God,
You
what wonder
that here
i have seen
salvation.
here, in death
here, in judgement
here, in the least of all possible places
here You are
i have been condemned
justly
what you have to do
is remember
that they deserve this.
even if you do not know why
even if you wonder if they really--
yes.
they do.
He didn't really speak to us.
...did He?
there is no one
who speaks to us
except
to shoo us away
i do not want
any part of this.
i came to be a witness
to speak to the horrors
so that when they pretend
all was right
i can speak
and tell what i saw
tell how i saw innocence die.
the energy is electrifying
i cannot describe
the swell
the movement
the rhythm
i first saw the crowd
early in the week
shouting "hosanna!"
"save us!"
it is amazing;
the things
that become
normal.
5. Pilate
all of it is smoke and mirrors.
law. judgement. righteousness.
me.
you look to us and see power--
but what power do i have
if i cannot save the life
of an innocent man?
all of this is too much for me.
what was i supposed to do?
4. Peter
i will never forget the day
You said
that i was the rock
upon which You would build Your church.
i have seared it into me
to serve as armor
to protect me from my fear.
3. a member of the council
it is a strange and heavy thing
to be entrusted with the sacred.
to hold tradition and revelation
history and creativity
for this beautiful and strange group
we call
"Your people".
2. Judas
here is my confession:
You are my God
and
it was so easy to
betray You.
perhaps because
i am so practiced at it.
1. a son of Zebedee
please
do not speak to me
if you do not know--
don't you dare judge me
(i do enough of that myself)
unless you have felt--
i didn't know.
we so rarely get to know.
Over the course of 16 years, this organization has lived beyond its name; inviting everyone under the LGBTQIA umbrella to come together and encounter Jesus. At Conference last year, Justin Lee announced from the stage that GCN would change its name to reflect the inclusivity and diversity of our community.
When Jesus looked at the multitude, he saw people as being harassed. I used to believe this was just about personal evangelism—that we needed more workers in the harvest field who would help people pray to receive Christ. But now I see that Jesus was asking for more workers who would stand in the gap to guard and advocate for people who were being harassed. For Jesus, love took the form of helping to protect vulnerable people.