God’s Response to Cruelty Within the 23rd Psalm | Monday Invocation
“God is relational, caring and compassionate. God as shepherd reveals this caring side and God maintains a direct relationship that is always there, especially in the face of cruelty and evil.”
In honor of LGBTQ+ History Month, we're spending October exploring a spiritual practice that so many of our LGBTQ+ siblings of faith engaged with for centuries: pilgrimage. Pilgrimage is a journey toward the sacred, whether that means traveling to a distant holy site or simply turning inward to seek God's presence. For some of us, pilgrimage is familiar. For others, it can feel out of reach due to a variety of reasons.
In the coming weeks, we're sharing stories from LGBTQ+ Christians who have encountered God through pilgrimage in all kinds of ways. Some traveled far. Some stayed close to home. All of them found something they were searching for along the way.
Today, EDI Advisory Council Member, Rev. Regan Saoirse opens the series with her story: a silent retreat she turned to during a season when her spirit felt uneasy, and how that journey helped her find her footing again.
The definition of pilgrimage is first about a journey to a sacred place, but it is also about a long journey or search, especially one of a higher purpose or moral significance. In 2023, I came out to my family, church, and school. Being queer isn’t a new revelation and coming out demonstrated a level of religious trauma healing and an effort to live more as my authentic self. What I struggled with most was how to live in a cruel world, one where evil, struggle, and hardship exist. Recognizing my own privileges and participating in specific and systemic oppression of others and the planet is in tension with my experiences of struggle with poverty, disabilities, fatness, and being queer.
When my spirit is uneasy and in distress, one place I return to time and again is Mount St. Scholastica Benedictine Monastery in Atchison, Kansas. Their sanctuary has stained glass windows portraying women saints, and their chapel glass is the story of St. Benedict. They have a huge garden, beekeeping and honey making, windmill and solar power, and social justice advocacy as a core mission. I almost converted to Catholicism to be a nun there almost 25 years ago. In 2023, the Silent Retreat was a trip returning to a spiritual grounding place for me during a time of tumultuous transition.
I did individual spiritual direction, group meditation, painting, responsive singing with the sisters, journaling, walking along their property, and reading. Reading Psalm 23, St. Benedict’s Rule, and Harold Kushner’s book on the 23rd Psalm helped me throughout. Psalm 23 is special to me and so many others. In chaplaincy, I often read it to people not only because they recognize it, but also because they relate to its beautiful verses. Psalm 23 shares what God will do in times of despair. “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” I will fear no evil, for you, God, are by my side always. It doesn’t say God will prevent evil from happening or that God will make our life free from suffering. What it says is that God is always with us and by turning our face toward God’s love, we can face any evil that comes our way.
God is relational, caring and compassionate. God as shepherd reveals this caring side and God maintains a direct relationship that is always there, especially in the face of cruelty and evil. This pilgrimage, the retreat and the reflection on Psalm 23 eased my burden while also clarifying a need to be more active in the justice of others.
Q Christian Fellowship aims to prophetically model a world where all LGBTQ+ people are fully loved by family, church, and community, and Christians worldwide live up to their calling to be instruments of grace and defenders of the outcasts. The generosity of those who believe in this work is crucial to that vision. If you'd like to help us to continue to create resources and spaces where faith and identity are held together, we invite you to make a donation at the link below!