How Am I Becoming?
“We are always becoming, even if we haven’t or can’t come out.”
Pride is very in-your-face. I mean, it did start off as a riot. It was meant to be bold and brave, to claim the person you are becoming. I have always yearned to be a part of the celebration because there were so many people telling me that I was not worthy of being celebrated. I wanted to declare it to the world, saying, “Here I am!” I wanted to be bold and brave. Instead, I had to remain hidden, knowing that I would be rejected and unsafe in spaces and communities I adored. I hid behind a veil that made me look like the person other people wanted me to be, not who I really am. I wanted to unveil, to reveal how I was being shaped and transformed by a God who called me Their beloved child.
This Pride, I am becoming visible, not because I have nothing to lose but because I know that the world needs me to be my full, authentic, bold, and vulnerable self. While I remained hidden behind a veil, I quietly gave thanks for those who boldly came out so that one day I could be safe. Now, I am ready to return that gift to the LGBTQ+ community.
Coming out does not start or end my “becoming.” We are always becoming, even if we haven’t or can’t come out. But coming out is the next right step in my own journey of becoming, a step that allows me to see less of a veil and more of who God created me to be. It allows me to better know myself in the hopes that as I grow into my authentic self, others will also come to know me.
As we journey into our becoming, as we find and carve out spaces to be our authentic selves, as we remove our veils (whatever those veils may be), we grow closer to the “Spirit's glorious image” as the passage discusses (2 Corinth. 3:17-18). Maybe you will find such a space marching in Pride, or fellowshipping within your faith community. Unveiled experiences may be more private for various reasons and so you may find it with a close friend or alone in your own room; maybe you will find it within yourself, in an internal space where you connect with the Divine.
Wherever you find space to be your authentic self, know that you are worthy of being celebrated, you are worthy of Pride. Know that in those spaces, where you can remove your own veils, you will begin to glimpse the glory of God, a glory that is not lackluster or quiet. The glory of God is bold and demands our attention! Let us respond to God by saying, “Here I am!”
Always Becoming,
Aiden Nathaniel Diaz
He/Him
