Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A servant-girl came to him and said, ‘You also were with Jesus the Galilean.’ But he denied it before all of them, saying, ‘I do not know what you are talking about.’ When he went out to the porch, another servant-girl saw him, and she said to the bystanders, ‘This man was with Jesus of Nazareth.’ Again he denied it with an oath, ‘I do not know the man.’ After a little while the bystanders came up and said to Peter, ‘Certainly you are also one of them, for your accent betrays you.’ Then he began to curse, and he swore an oath, ‘I do not know the man!’ At that moment the cock crowed. Then Peter remembered what Jesus had said: ‘Before the cock crows, you will deny me three times.’ And he went out and wept bitterly.
Matthew 26: 69-75 (NRSV)
i will never forget the day
that i was the rock
upon which You would build Your church.
i have seared it into me
to serve as armor
to protect me from my fear.
You aren't easy to read--
there are so many times i have stumbled
or missed the point
or failed to trust--
i know. and You are quick to point these out
"o ye of little faith".
but i held onto those words of Yours
for dear life
that there was something i got right
that there was something redeemable in me
that there could be faith and growth and a future
even for me
even from me.
i wrapped these words around me like a blanket
to warm myself when You seem cold
to remind myself
that You believe i can do it.
i can never forget that day.
not now, even though i long to purge myself
of the memory that twists and stabs
that i have proven i could never be a rock
O God our Rock, You are the foundation on which we build our lives. Forgive us for the times we deny who You are in the world and who You call us to be for Your world. Strengthen us with Your faith in us, that we might be unashamed to claim our own faith in You. Amen.
Slats (they/them/theirs) is a queer/trans/nonbinary Presbyterian (PCUSA). They hold a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Drama and a Master of Divinity and they deeply love liturgy and hymnody. They write, preach, teach and often work as a director and sound designer for live theater. They are currently in the ordination process, and spend much of their time working toward claiming queer/trans space in Christianity.